Do you need to tell time? Do you need to do it really inefficiently and without any precision whatsoever?
Then you need this:
The above is my own attempt. It’s surprisingly easy and, as I proved, extraordinarily difficult to mess up. You can learn how to make your own here. Never has it been easier to so perfectly display your craftsmanship, interest in vinyl, and apathy towards time in one object! There also hasn’t been exactly a need, but who cares? You can do it.